With everything that happens in the world, you’d be forgiven
for thinking we live in an evil race to the bottom. Sickness, death, tragedy,
misfortune… it surrounds us, with the potential to consume us.
Bad news sells
and corrupts our view of the world.
There is plenty of cruelty in the world but come with me on
a trip that starts with an innocuous encounter and ends with one of my
favourite moments ever.
I was cycling home from work when a car ahead of me slowed
to let me pass before turning left in my wake. I waved my appreciation and
smiled at their simple yet caring move.
My mind then wandered back to Sicily in the summer of 2008. I
was looking after children, mainly French and Italians. Most weeks I was charged
with the 4-5-year olds. It was an endless cycle of feeding, cleaning and trying
to understand what could possibly upset a French child so much that
hyperventilating became an all too common occurrence? My awful French accent
probably didn’t help.
This routine was finally broken as a new week began and respite came
in the form of a transfer to work with the 8-12-year olds.
“Can you look after my son this week?” asked a rather
anxious English mother.
“If he is between the ages of 8 and 12, I don’t see why
not.” I replied
“Your boss won’t take him, she said no.”
“Eh, well… why not?” My confusion almost matching her level
of distress.
“Edward has autism, but he is fine. If anyone could bring
about world peace he will. He loves to hug; he just wants to make friends. But
he can’t talk. He will be fine, I promise. His sister will be there too, she
knows what to do…” She said, almost without a breath.
I was stunned. I
opened my mouth to reply but was interrupted by the sound of barking, loud and
full of life.
I looked around to see who had brought their dog on holidays
and was met, not by a canine but, by a fair-haired boy, with cherub cheeks and
a pristine smile.
Nothing out of the ordinary here, except he was holding a
toy dinosaur in each hand and he was making them bark like nothing I had ever
heard... from a human!
“He will be fine, I promise.” His mother’s desperation
dripping from every word. Edward was oblivious as children scuttled to
“safety”.
“Non!” my boss was adamant, “We cannot. It will be too
difficult”
“Please, he will be no trouble and his sister will be there
too if anything happens.” His mother argued.
This went back and forth until amazingly I was given the
casting vote.
“Yes, let’s take him. His sister will be there sure…”
“Thank you!” The relief on the mother's face was all too clear as her features softened.
“OK, but if anything happens, it is your fault.” My boss was
clear, I was on my own!
No matter the country, the continent or situation, kids will
be kids… searching comfort and scared of the unknown. Edward joined the group
with a smile on his face and dinosaurs in hand but everywhere he went the other
kids moved away and giggled behind his back.
Every activity we took on it was the same, Edward playing on
his own because the other kids didn’t understand… Then we went to play football.
The resort had a glass structure similar in size to a squash
court with small goals at either end. It was perfect for two a side. Myself and
14 kids headed off to play… now someone had to play on Edward’s team.
We settled on teams of two, the first to score two goals won
the match and the winner stayed on.
The action kicked off with four on the inside
battling it out for the glory of their peers, who were outside banging the glass and
cheering every touch. Edward was no different, loving life, his life.
When Edward’s turn on court came, he chased around, worked
up a sweat and ultimately left on the losing team. The kids on the outside did
little to hide their laughter. It was time to have a little chat.
The next time Edward was on court and out of earshot, I
gathered the other boys around and did my best to explain Edward’s outlook on
the world… in French.
I jumbled together something akin to “Edward is a kid like
you guys. He loves to make friends and have fun. Unfortunately, the world isn’t
as easy for Edward so he needs us to look out for him. I need you to help him.”
The giggles were gone and what looked like genuine concern seemed to have taken
its place.
I continued, “Let’s make things better for Edward. The next
time his team are playing I want you to allow him to win. You can score the
first goal against him if you want but please just let his team have one victory.”
The togetherness with which they laughed at him had now been replaced with scheming an
unlikely victory for him.
As my impromptu speech came to an end, Edward’s team left the court defeated once again, not
realising my pidgin French may have been about to create something very
special.
The games continued until it was time for Edward’s team to
take to the field once more. It was different from the beginning. The boys
outside banged the glass and shouted his name. His face lit up; he was still
beaming from ear to ear as a shot flew past him to put his side 1-0 down.
“Never
get too high with the highs or too low with the lows”, they say. Edward epitomised
this and kept smiling as the crowd chanted his name.
Within minutes Edward’s team were back on level terms as his
teammate took out his frustration on the ball and it nestled in the corner of
the net. Edward went wild, chasing after the young lad to celebrate. His face
was bright red, his teeth glowing as he laughed and smiled at their unlikely
turn of events.
The game was on a knife edge. If Edward’s team conceded the cruelty
in the world would be there for all to see… if he scored, we could continue to
believe in the good in people.
Chances came and went. Edward, forever distracted by his newfound
fame, was having a hard time concentrating on the task at hand and we were in
danger of having to call the game a draw. There was no drop of the shoulder required
to go past Edward, he was enchanted by the sound of his name and gravitated
towards his fans.
Then it happened, truth be told I can’t remember how but the
ball ended up in the back of the opposition net and Edward’s boot was the last
to touch it. He had scored a goal, won his team the game and created scenes never
to be repeated in a glass box.
His teammate ran to him and hugged him as he jumped in the
air, the boys outside banged on the glass and shouted his name. He left the
court and was mobbed by all the kids… “bien jouĂ©!”, “Quel but!”, the boys had done good.
Edward was on cloud nine as he savoured his moment. The boys
milked it for all it was worth, reveling in their planning and execution.
As the week went by the kids remembered Edward, saying hello in the morning, including him in their games and running after him when he wandered off.
And I remember it 11 years later as an example of the power
of concentrating on the positives. It doesn’t make the pain of illness, death
and loss go away but if it brings a smile to your face for a moment, and makes
you think of your own happy memories, then I'll take it.