I have a long established reputation for being horrendously under prepared, outside of the office (keep shut!), and for hair brained ideas that I am determined to see come to fruition. Luckily part one means the majority of part twos never see the light of day.
Except one cracked idea is currently basking in the French summer sun! It all started when I shared the troubles I was having getting to a wedding in the south of France. Bunclody's finest piped up with, 'why don't you cycle?' So there I was standing in Carcassonne airport with my bike in a travel case belonging one of life's inspirations, my clothes in a dear friend's bag and a handful of Google map printouts to get me the 150km to Larroque.
Ten steps later I lost the bag, an expert shot from a nearby sniper taking out a key strap or I failed to travel as light as I had 'planned', you decide.
Ten minutes later... I'll set a scene that was always gonna end in disaster. It's 1 PM and I am in the capital of my hotel. The sun is high in the sky, searching out and burning every available, exposed piece of my skin. My internal cooling system reacts accordingly by drenching every inch of my body. This is before one of the locks on the fort Knox holding my bike hostage refuses to budge.
So when that duly takes place I look like I've stepped out of the shower fully clothed. I push and pull at the box for another ten minutes to no avail. Giving up I wander inside with the box to see if I can procure a screwdriver to free my steed... As I begin said wander the box springs open! I assemble the bike like a man determined to show the world he's been assembling a bike... Black oil everywhere! 2.30 pm I am ready to go.
500m up the road and having rounded the same roundabout twice I give up on my Google maps sheets and invest in my phone's GPS. It quickly pays off as what looks like a dead end turns into a cheeky short cut onto a main road. Google is a genius.
If I'm not on some French candid camera show filming idiots in traffic from the sky, I have had a lucky escape! I spent twenty minutes on three different roads trying to figure out where Google was trying to send me, each time getting to the end of the road and being told to do a U turn. Google is an idiot!
But there's two of us in it, I forgot to bring my phone charger. So with 99 km to travel en velo demain it's back to Google maps that Columbus would struggle to find land with.
The sunflowers are amazing here, the more I pass them, the more of they seemed to turn their backs on me! To be fair I stank by the end of the day.
I have drank four litres today... and still counting.
It's 22.41 at night and it's 27° C. I'm not made for this!
I asked a local for directions today and he ignored me... Even after he had responded to my greeting. Apparently feigning interest in your derailer is acceptable when the sweatiest, dirtiest man Ireland could provide at short notice asks for directions.
The shower at the end of today's festivities was insane. Picture the scene, I'm completely named.
I fell asleep on the plane over and woke up halfway through a conversation with the woman beside me about her scones!
Possibly more of the same tomorrow!
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