Hope Solo

Hope springs eternal, that is what is said. It always seems to be said by those in no need of Hope or those who are trying to bring cheer to the heavy heart. I have no doubt, in fact I know that Hope does spring eternal, but just once in a while I wish it wouldn't. Not because I yearn for the day when I am a hopeless being with no interest in the future and an unhealthy obsession with the past, but because Hope can be cruel, like a cruel summer without the catchy melody. It all starts with the daily application for a job that will rock my world.

"Dear Sir/Madam/Gargoyle/Professional whose reply button has been deleted". It's pretty alarming how quickly a Gargoyle came into play here but I imagine many of my applications have fallen on the desk of the stoney faced ones. Maybe one day the wind will catch said application and bring it to the feet of Quasimodo who will take pity and inspire Hope in one fell swoop and I will be Head of Marketing at Disney's Mingers Model Agency. I digress, the usual turn of things is that the application is sent and then I sit back and let Hope take hold.

It grabs me by the scruff of the neck, the seat of my pants, the cuffs on my sleeves and the soles of my shoes. Hope sends me to a magical world where I have aced not one but two interviews and am now sitting at my new desk, surrounded by my new colleagues, wondering where the stationary cabinet is (I've always wanted to work in an office where the stationary cabinet is on wheels). I am doing all the things specified in my job spec, and more. After work drinks, the tag rugby, Christmas parties, the banter at the water cooler are all part and parcel of a job that challenges me to push myself to my limits, and I love it!

In any missing persons search they say the first 48 hours are crucial. I take the same approach to the job search. Once the first 48 hours is up the Hope fades, the dream dies and another office is without its movable stationary cabinet. I've experimented with applying for jobs I don't want, just to see if hope leaves me be. Not at all, Hope sees it as a bloody stepping stone to something bigger and better.

Maybe the job application process would be better done naked, that way Hope would have a harder time grabbing me by the scruff of my neck, the seat of my pants... you get the idea. Nothing better than the idea of me naked at my laptop to brighten the day, and scare off Hope!

Time

This is the first time I have written a blog, I have decided I will stick with it for at least ten blogs. Whether you, the reader (in this case), will stick with me is optional, debatable and highly unlikely. The reason I am writing this blog is to further enhance my creative writing but also responding to a dear friend's imploring words, encouraging me to dabble in the murky world of the blog. She told me she follows one blogger in particular who is so depressing she has thought of unsubscribing from the blog, drastic times, desperate measures.

An introduction, I am not female, I have under 30 years experience on this mortal coil and I do not have a job. This is how I see myself, when I am trying to be aloof and vague. The jobless world is a completely different one to anything I have ever experienced. The flowers still grow, the sun still shines and the prices are still set at exorbitant but there is a tinge of grey hanging over everything. It is not black, because that would be too obvious and in your face and it is not red because that would be alarming. It is grey because you don't immediately notice grey, it just kind of hangs there and then you remember.

Everyone has the Monday morning blues. That feeling of having to get up and go through it all again until Friday afternoon's bell tolls and you trundle off to reacquaint yourself with your social buddies, your bed and your favourite tipple that makes you eventually topple. The Unemployed Monday Blues are similar in ways but different in others. You do get up to do the same things you did last week, but they bring no joy. There is no fun to be found in filling out the same application for a different job, for answering the same question framed with a different topical question. One application recently asked me how Jacob's get the fig in the fig rolls, I work in Marketing I am not a tasty treats engineer. I presumed they were looking for a witty reaction, demonstrating some outside the box thinking, I didn't hear back from them so perhaps I presumed wrong. Another asked me to state my favourite advertising campaign of 2010. Interestingly, "strong attention to detail" was a requirement to work with this particular company. Now, either they were looking for a Marketer with a strong memory or they are severely lacking in people with "strong attention to detail". I await their response, or lack there of.

When you have no job to go to, time is something that becomes your enemy. While it has only been two months since I worked, it has already been two months since I worked. See what I did there. Time absolutely flies by at a scary rate, the longer the replies to job applications don't arrive the longer I feel I am hurtling closer and closer to 21/08/2019. That is the date my Social Welfare Card expires. Do they know something I don't?! Surely I will have a job before 2019, God knows how many 2 month periods that is! Needless to say I haven't been applying for jobs in Mathematics!